Testimony Trails

Part 1: “Am I Creating This — or Is God Leading Me?”

Today, I find myself standing between obedience and uncertainty, asking God whether I am truly moving within His will—or creating something in my own strength.

Before this season, I was seeking God for clarity and direction after losing my job. Deep in my heart, I knew he called me. Even through that loss, I became certain that He was drawing me toward ministry. What I did not expect was that this calling would begin in a classroom.

Yet now, I believe teaching may be the ground on which God is shaping me—refining my heart, stretching my faith, and preparing me for what lies ahead.

There is a tension that comes with wanting to obey God while not fully understanding the path He is leading you down. The uncertainty, the fear of rejection, and the pain of past disappointments—these are struggles I have carried for a long time. Still, my desire remains the same: to align my life with God’s will and purpose, even when the direction feels unclear.

I think of Elijah in 1 Kings 17:2-6 at the Brook Cherith—obedient, hidden, and dependent on God daily.

Have you ever found yourself at your own Brook Cherith, a place where all you could do was depend on God?

Like him, I find myself in a place where provision, clarity, and my next steps must come from God alone.

This season has taught me that obedience does not always come with immediate understanding. Sometimes, it simply requires trust.

But this place I am standing in now did not come without a process.

Looking back, I can now see that God was already writing a story I did not yet understand. What felt like uncertainty at the time was actually preparation for what was ahead. Although I could not see it then, God was already using every closed door, every unanswered question, and every difficult season to shape me for His purpose.

In Part 2, I want to take you back to the season of loss that came before this—the moment when everything familiar was stripped away. It was in that season of brokenness, confusion, and waiting that God began revealing what He was doing, even when I could not yet understand it.

Stay tuned for Part 2: The season of Loss.

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