Before I ever stepped into the teaching position I mentioned in Part 1, there was a season I haven’t fully shared yet—a season of loss that changed everything.
It was during this time that I lost my job and, with it, a sense of stability I had grown comfortable with. I didn’t understand why it was happening. I felt confused, uncertain, and honestly, shaken.
I remember crying out to God, asking questions I didn’t have answers to—wondering why everything seemed to be falling apart when I was trying so hard to hold everything together.
At the time, I couldn’t see what God was doing. All I knew was that He was leading me into a season where nothing felt secure except my dependence on Him.
It was there, in the midst of uncertainty, that my journey of questioning, seeking, and trusting God more deeply truly began.
Have you ever prayed for a job, saw yourself in the job, got the job, and then, within one year, lost the job? That’s what happened to me.
It felt as though the enemy had taken advantage of what God had blessed me with. The situation looked so real that I, too, felt as though I had fallen into a trap. I was among the first group to be laid off from my job. It seemed like a disguise to end the employment of probationary workers for faulty reasons. Then came thousands of others, all for different reasons. What a mess in the system.
Hmm… I think I am being led.
But is it through a closed door?
I found myself in a season of desperately seeking God after losing the one dream job I thought I had and would hold on to. This season of loss seemed so real. I spent my time pondering, “Is this really where God directed me?”
My cries went up to God day after day as I faced the reality of having children depending on me and not knowing which way to turn or how I would provide for them. I knew I was running out of time because of my overdue bills and mortgage.
Days passed. Months passed. I continued applying for jobs, but numerous doors still remained shut in front of me. It was so overwhelming that tears began flowing down my face. Yet I kept believing that God would make a way.
I began doing a self-examination of my own life. I knew I was paying my tithes and giving back through ministry work. I was trying to live a life pleasing to God and raise my children in the ways of the Lord.
But still, I questioned God:
Why me?
Have you ever asked God that same question?
Maybe you are asking it today.
Sometimes we ask God, “Why me?” Yet another question comes to mind:
Why not me?
Throughout the Bible, people went through difficult seasons for a reason.
Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers, falsely accused, imprisoned, and forgotten. Yet God used every painful season to position him for His purpose. What his brothers meant for evil, God turned around for good (Genesis 50:20). His suffering was not wasted; it was preparation.
Job lost his children, his wealth, and his health, yet his trials revealed his faith and God’s sovereignty.
David was anointed king, but spent years hiding in caves before he ever sat on the throne.
Even Jesus Himself suffered rejection and betrayal.
Their stories remind us that our pain often has a purpose, even when we cannot see it.
My heart continued to seek after God. I wanted to do His will and remain committed to Him because I knew there was a calling upon my life.
But I still had so many questions.
I knew God had not forgotten me, even though I could not understand what He was doing. I continued praying, seeking Him, and believing that He would make a way, even when I could not see one.
Looking back now, I realize that this season of loss was preparing me for what was to come next.
At the time, I thought my greatest test was learning to trust God through closed doors.
I had no idea that when another door finally opened, it would bring a whole new set of questions that would once again drive me back to God.
Stay tuned for Part 3: When the Open Door Still Leaves Questions.
Stay Connected
If these testimonies have encouraged you, subscribe to receive an email whenever a new post is published. I would be honored to have you continue this journey with me as we grow together in faith.
Leave a Reply