After everything I walked through in that season of loss, I thought I had begun to understand what God was doing. Then came the teaching position. It felt like an answered prayer.
After watching so many doors close, this finally felt like the door God had opened. I stepped into it believing that maybe this was confirmation—that I was moving in the direction God had for me.
But even with that opportunity, I found myself in a place I did not expect.
Confused.
Confused because I knew God called me, yet I still felt tied to what I had known—my career in healthcare and now this new role in teaching. I was trying to understand where I truly belonged.
Was this the calling?
Or was this just a step along the way?
Have you ever had God answer your prayer, yet still found yourself asking questions?
I thought about when Jesus called His disciples in Matthew 4:19—to leave behind fishing for fish and begin fishing for people. That kind of transition requires surrender, trust, and a willingness to let go of what feels familiar.
At the same time, I believed that God could use any position I was in to reach others. So I reasoned that maybe this teaching role was not the destination but a stepping stone—an opportunity to impact lives and draw people closer to Him.
Still, I wrestled internally.
I found myself trying to make sense of everything—speaking to myself, going back and forth in my thoughts, searching for clarity.
Then I began to see it differently.
I believe God had me in a season of preparation.
Like David, who was behind the scenes tending sheep before he was ever called forward, I felt hidden—yet being trained. It wasn’t a stage of recognition, but a stage of development.
And maybe that’s what the classroom was.
Training ground.
Refining ground.
Preparation for what was ahead.
But what I did not expect was that even in this “open door,” there would still be challenges.
There were moments where I felt targeted as a first-time teacher. Situations arose that tested my character, my patience, and my integrity. But through it all, I stood firm in who I am. I refused to compromise my values.
Even then, things began to shift.
What once felt stable started to unravel quickly—unexpected changes, mounting challenges, and then
Another loss.
It happened so fast.
Just when I thought, “I finally have something secure… God, thank You for providing,” everything changed.
I was called into the office and given news I was not prepared for.
And once again
I was left with questions.
Questions I brought straight to God.
Because even when I don’t understand the process, I am learning that I can still bring Him my confusion, my thoughts, and my heart—honestly.
This season has shown me that not every open door means comfort.
Sometimes, it is still part of the process. Still part of the preparation.
Still part of God shaping something deeper within me. And even here
I am still seeking Him.
I am still waiting.
I am still trusting that the same God who was with me through closed doors is the same God who is with me in this season of uncertainty.
Stay tuned for Part 4: Still in the Season of Waiting on God.
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